


The first day of the rest of my life

by Magichemistry



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Dad Kylo, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Smut, Smut and Fluff, Unexpected Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-03-23 01:45:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13777062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magichemistry/pseuds/Magichemistry
Summary: “I’m not Ben, I’m Kylo Ren” he says. And suddenly the boy that used to sit at the bar every night breaks your heart and walks away. But he leaves something that will be with you for the rest of your life. This story is about love and second chances.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had this idea in my mind for so long and I’m so happy that I finally wrote it. It’s not heavy plot, it was more an excuse to write Kylo fluff. In this one Kylo still wears his helmet and lives in the Supremacy as Supreme Leader.

“You’re kidding, right? It’s a joke. I get it” you try to laugh at his lame attempt of joke. “Really funny, Ben”, except he’s not laughing. He’s just looking down, sitting in the unmade bed.

“I’m not joking, (Y/N)”, you can see his jaw tense and you could swear you hear his teeth grinding.

A while ago you finished loving each other, both of you full of kisses and hickeys, messy hair, tired smile. You just got dressed to go for some dinner. Most likely junk food because you feel happy and hungry.

It was there when Kylo decided to confess it “I need to tell you something…I…I wanted to tell you… I don’t know” he looked insecure and hesitant. “What’s up, Ben? You know you can trust me” you encouraged him with a smile, you thought you were so in love with him that anything, as bad as it may seem, you could overcome it.

He sat on the bed and after a silence that felt eternal he said “I’m not Ben, I’m Kylo Ren”, he said it as if was anything, as if he had said “I don’t like bantha burgers, let’s buy something else”.

Back to the present you don’t know what else to say, except to keep saying it’s a joke, keep believing it’s not serious.

Because there’s no way it can be. A whole year fucking Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren as Supreme Leader. No, you remind to yourself, a whole year making love to Ben.

“Why did you never say anything?” your eyes are filling with tears.

“What was I supposed to tell you? Hi, I’m Kylo Ren. May I have sex with you?” Kylo says mockingly. “We both know well that if you had know who I really was you wouldn’t have even approached me”.

* * *

 

_You have lived all your life on the planet Akiva, your job is to be bartender at a bar called Amici’s. It’s not the largest club in the area but neither it’s the smallest. It’s not the most elegant but it’s not a stinky hole either. It’s at Amici’s when you saw him one night. It wasn’t the weekend yet so it was a quiet night, there weren’t many customers. You were leaning on the bar, thinking of nothing special when the door opened and you saw him for the first time. A big tall guy who looked like he was wondering what was he doing in this place. He sat on a stool in front of you. This way you could look him closely. You saw his scar that covered almost one side of his face. Oh that glorious scar that you kissed many time like you could’ve heal it. It suited him, somehow. He was an odd  mixture. His bad ass scar and his puppy brown eyes._

_“Hello, what can I offer you?” you asked him wishing he hadn’t realized you were checking him out._

_“I… I don’t know” and he laughed. A short and sincere laugh that lit up his face. “What do you recommend me?”_

_“Mmm, let’s see” you tapped your finger in your cheek pretending you were making a hard decision. “I know! A beer!” you said cheerful. You turned to the freezer where all the drinks were storage and picked up a light beer putting it right in front of him. “Something simple for a simple guy”._

_“Oh honey, you have no idea” he smiled wide at you. Who would have thought that that same smile would be what would take you to the stars for a year before dropping you to hell._

* * *

 

You stand near the door of your room slash apartment, with arms hanging loose at your sides and your gaze lost. You stopped listening to what Kylo is telling you. You strive to turn his voice into white noise. Only white nose.

“Get out” you say in a whisper. You don’t even look him in the eyes. Kylo just looks up confused, as if he doesn’t speak the same language.

“GET THE FUCK OUT!” you scream. It seems that the walls are shrinking ready to devour you, you don’t fit in this space, it’s too little, there’s not enough oxygen to breathe.

“No, no, (Y/N), listen, I know I lied to you but…” Kylo begs you, you think he’s about to kneel before you but he just gets up.

“Get out! Get out of my house, my life…my heart…” you collapse and let the tears run free. “You’re not Ben. My Ben” you shake your head, still unable to believe that this is happening.

“Oh I see. I see now. Great perfect (Y/N) couldn’t have fucked a monster like me. That’s the problem, right?” Kylo isn’t crying like you but his voice is broken and his eyes are red.

You go to the opposite side of the bed where he was sitting and let yourself fall, looking towards the window. In a very low voice you say “Just go. Leave”.

Kylo just looks at you for a moment, now he’s the one near the door. With a look full of hate and anger it seems that he’s about to say something but instead turns around and hits the wall with his fist, screaming. You don’t even startle or look at him nor the wall.

He leaves the apartment, he’s walking with angry steps to his ship, of course it wasn’t his TIE fighter. It was a simple and small ship he bought when he felt the urgent to escape from his life, at least for some nights a week.

He’s leaving you. Ready to get on his ship. Ready to never see you again.

* * *

 

_2 and a half months later_

“What?” you’re looking at the white stick with two short straight lines on it. Your face is like one of those pet fish that swim with their mouths in the shape of an  _O_ all the time.

“The fuck?” you look up and down at nothing in particular. You look to your right and you can see from the bathroom the hole in the wall he made before leaving.

You’ve seen enough chick flicks where the girl discovers she’s pregnant. She collapses and starts to cry thinking that her life is ruined but in the end the love (“eew love”) manages to success. But this isnt a chick flick, this is your life, everything you’ve done, the decisiones you’ve made, everything that has brought you here cannot be changed.

“A baby of Ben” your heart tells you and it swells with pride and love. “No, a baby of Kylo Ren” your mind reminds you and it fills with rage and resentment.

You feel as if someone emptied a swarm of angry bees inside of you. You feel so many things that you’re unable to move. You stay sitting on the toilet. Now it’s not the time to send everything to shit, becuse somehow, you console yourself, you will never be alone in this universe ever again.

“Okay…” you say to yourself with one hand down in your stomach and the other one still holding the proof that something is living and growing right now inside of you.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the only chapter where Kylo isn’t in it. Sorry but it was neccesary.

_6 years later. Same planet. Same apartment._

“Mommy” you hear a tiny voice. “Mommy!” the voice gets louder. You’re pretending to be sleeping in your bed, trying to ignore the little energy ball that is your daughter. “MOMMY!” she jumps in your stomach screaming.

“Nomi!” you whine because of the hit. You grab your daughter and start to tickle her. “What do you want, baby?” you ask her after a moment of laughs and fun. “I can move things” she sounds excited. “Move things?” you ask her. “Yes” she keeps telling you “I can move my toys, the book that Mrs. Phrog gave me and my toothbrush”

“Oh, well, that’s great, sweetheart, I guess. Good for you” you smile at her. Honestly you don’t see as a great achievement that your daughter can move random things. Everyone can do it, right? But you don’t want put out her excitement either so you ask her to show you.

“Mmm” she looks around the bedroom trying to find something to move. She sees a glass of water on a little table that it’s near the bed and she starts to concentrate on it. At first, her intention was to move the glass but she opted to move only the water so she can impress you more.

After 30 seconds or so, you start to wondering what kind of game is she playing saying she can move things only to stare at them. But then it happens, you see how the water inside the glass starts floating outside in the shape of a balloon.

“What…?” you stare at the floating water. “Nomi?” you try not to sound scare. “Nomi, how are you doing that?” your eyes jumps from the water to your daughter and viceversa.

Nomi looks at you and the waters falls and splashes all over the table. “I told you I can move things” she shrugged, she doesn’t see what’s so weird about it. She just discovered if she concentrate enough in one object she’s able to move it withouth touching it. But most people can do it, right? You just need to concentrate really hard.

“The Force?” you wonder to yourself. You’ve heard about it. Too many things actually. After Ben confessed you that he was really Kylo Ren you tried to investigate everything you could about it. Then, the more your tummy grew the more curious you became to know if your daughter was going to look like him. Would she have his brown eyes? His wavy dark hair? Would she have the Force as well as him?

It turned out that in some things you guessed right, once Nomi was born she had deep chocolate eyes and a smile very alike to one that once made you sigh. Growing up Nomi never showed any sign that she had the Force, you didn’t really know at what age the Force manifested but every year that passed you forgot it more and more, leaving the thought relegated to a corner in the back of your mind. Until now.

“Nomi” you take your daughter in your arms. “What else can you do with your mind?” “Uhmmm” Nomi thinks “Sometimes I can feel what people feel” her response is a bit vague and she tries to explain you better “For example, I know that sometimes you get sad, I don’t know why but I feel it. I know that sometimes you think of someone, it’s when you get the most sad” Nomi looks directly into your eyes and she’s a little afraid that you might get mad at what she just said.

After looking at her a moment you say “It’s okay, baby. This only means that you’re very special. And since you’re very special, we must keep the secret, understood?” just as you have learned many things about the Force, you’ve also learned that there are greedy people who look for sensitive Force users in order to use them to earn money or ignorant people who dedicates to hurting them because they think that the Force is unatural. And those are just some danger of the many that Nomi now has.

Nomi thinks for a moment and asks “Can’t I tell anyone at school?” “Nobody” you tell her seriously. “Not even Mrs. Phrog?” she pouts a little. Mrs. Phrog is the neighbor who takes care of Nomi while you work at Amici’s. She lets Nomi watch soap operas but she’s a good person, besides your salary doesn’t allow you to pay a qualified babysitter. “Not even to her. This is a secret between you and me” you insist. “I need you tell me that you understand, please, Nomi” you don’t pretend to scare her but you want to make sure she’ll not shout to everyone hearing that she can move things with her mind.

“Understood, Mommy. I’ll will not tell anynone” she smiles and gives you a kiss. “Ok, baby. Now it’s time to get ready to go to school” and you send her to put on her uniform while you prepare breakfast.

* * *

 

You spend part of the day cleaning the apartment, washing Nomi’s clothes and preparing food for the next days. Half before noon you leave to go to Amici’s. Since Nomi was born you changed your shift for another one earlier so you could spend time with her. Now you work from one to seven and the tips are still good. There are even days when you can take Nomi to the bar to help her with her homework and eat a burguer with french fries. It’s her favorite meal.

You work on autopilot, it’s obvious that your head is elsewhere and you just want this day to end quickly to return home and make sure your baby is safe.

* * *

 

Once you say goodbye to Mrs. Phrog and walk to the apartment, Nomi and you have dinner together. She’s telling you what she did in the day. So far it seems she hasn’t told anyone else her secret.

After cleaning the tiny kitchen, you put Nomi to bed, tucking her and giving her a goodnight kiss. You and her share the same bed because your apartment is so small it only has one room. Altough you can’t complain, you get to cuddle with her every night.

You used to worry about what you were going to do once Nomi grew older since she was going to need her own room. But now your worries are different and you’re sure that you’ll spend the night awake thinking about them.

You try not to move too much so you don’t wake up Nomi, a while ago you abandoned the idea of sleeping. Your thoughts keep you awake. Too many questions, too many assumptions, but the result is the same: you don’t know what to do. If you stay here with Nomi soon her power will be discovered. Also, what can you teach her about the Force? And what would happen if one day you’re not there to protect her? What if someone hurts the both of you?

You lay on your left side and watch Nomi sleep deeply. She seems so oblivious to everything and you smile to yourself because you think you haven’t done a bad job being a mom.

You never thought about looking for Kylo to tell him he was going to be a dad, you were still so angry you didn’t want anything to do with him. You thought he wasn’t going to believe you were pregnant with his child, that you only wanted credits or blackmail him. And anyway, how were you going to contact him? When he left, he left for good.

But tonight, for the first time in six years, exactly at 4:06 am, you seriously think that maybe he’s the only person who can help you.

You know that many things could go wrong, for years the two fo you haven’t seen each other, he doesn’t even know of the existence of his daughter. Have he had changed? Will there still be something about the Ben you fell in love with in him? What would he do if he knew he has a daughter? A daughter with the Force?

You set your gaze on Nomi again and gently caress her hair. And suddenly you know it. Something you always knew since you were sitting in the bathroom looking at that positive pregnancy test. Something you haven’t accepted until now. You’re going to look for Kylo so he meets Nomi.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter jumps from Reader’s POV to Kylo’s POV

_To see you again_

_with my eyes soaked with the past_

_with the sweetness of a love that nobody sees_

_with the promise of that last coffee_

_with a bunch of broken dreams_

When the morning arrives you don’t feel tired despite not having slept all night, you feel awake and alert, ready to jump and face anything. You have a plan. It’s quite simple. Since the First Order managed to rule almost the whole galaxy they’ve tried to win people’s sympathy, one of the things they had done is to offer tours of their ships and bases so people know what they do and how they protect and maintain the order in the universe. The tours are relatively cheap and depending on the planet you are on and the place you visit usually, they last about 3 hours.

While Nomi sleeps you prepare a small backpack with food, some credits that you had saved and your IDs. Then you wake her up with great difficulty because it’s still too early, but you don’t want to take the risk of not reaching a place on the ship that will take you to your destination. You close the door of the apartment and think about saying goodbye to Mrs. Phrog, but she must be still asleep and maybe you’ll come back in less than a day with a kick in the ass rejected by Kylo Ren.

* * *

 

You arrive at the place where the tours are offered in short time, it’s one of the advantages of living downtwon. You ask the girl who works there for information and she gives you a pamphlet. She’s smiling, too much for your taste and she’s inside a booth full of images of the First Order. You sit on a bench with Nomi in your arms, she has fallen asleep again while you were walking, and you start reading the pamphlet. Several potos of ships and planets appear on it, the Attera system, the planet of Vodran, the Finalizer, the options are numerous but a particular name catches your attention.  _The Supremacy_  you read, apparently it’s the mobile headquarters of the First Order but what interests you most about this ship is that it says “current home of our Supreme Leader Kylo Ren”.

“Two tickets to the Supremacy, please. The one that leaves in 20 minutes” you tell to the same girl who gave you the information.

“Of course” she replies, showing her white and shiny teeth. “Have in mind your belongings will be inspectioned and the tour only includes the training rooms of the stormtroopers, the kitchen, the dining room, the artillery room and a little museum with the rise and history of the First Order” she adds like a robot.

“Thanks” you collect the tickets and the change. You don’t like to be near her so you go back to the bench where you were sitting and you prepare to wait. “Everything will be fine” you whisper to Nomi and kiss her on the forehead.

* * *

 

Kylo wakes up startled and sits on his bed. He has just awoken from a strange dream, usually he never dreams and when he does it’s always about the past, regret and suffering invades his mind even when he’s asleep. But this dream has been different. He’s on an empty space full of fog. He can’t see his surroundings very clear, he feels like he’s floating in the nothingness. A little girl comes running towards him, he can’t distinguish her face but he’s sure he has never seen her before. She’s happy, she’s laughing. And without realizing it he has his arms extended to her. When he tried to focus his gaze to see her face is when he woke up.

He just shakes his head and prepares mentally to start the day. Gym, shower, breakfast and he’ll be ready to be the Supreme Leader for one more day. But he still can’t shake off the weird sensation his dream left him.

* * *

 

You say goodbye to your planet as the ship you’re in it leaves it. You could be back tonight or maybe you’ll never return. Trying to get rid of your anxiety you decide to wake up Nomi so she can see the stars in the dark space. And apparently it works because for your regret, the trip felt too short and you can see the ship where Kylo Ren is, getting closer.

* * *

 

Kylo is sitting in a boardroom full of people but he has stopped listening to what General Hux is saying about a new tatic that will make the First Order more effective. He feels apprehension that something is about to happen. But what? An attack? No, it doesn’t feel that way. When it’s an attack he feels his body fills with adrenaline and ready to fight. This time it feels like he’s in the eye of the hurricane and he’s helpless because… how do you fight against what you can’t see?

* * *

 

“Good morning, everyone” the stormtrooper in full uniform says. “I’m MZ-1016 and I’ll be your guide today. Really excited to see all of you in this fine day” it seems that they had asked the stormtrooper to try to be friendly and cheerful with the visitors but he seems uncomfortable and with the voice distorted by the helmet he’s more scary being  kind.

After half an hour of listening to the non-stop talk of MZ-0916 explaining how soldiers train and even what they eat you decide it’s time to act. You stay behind from the group and you tell Nomi very low so she’s the only that hears you “Ok, Nomi. I need you to help me find someone. But it’s a very big ship, so remember what you can do when you concentrate a lot on something?” she only nods and opens her eyes more. “Well, now do the same but concentrate on this” and you point to Kylo Ren’s image that is on the pamphlet you kept. “Like hide and seek, mommy?” Nomi asks. “Yes, baby, exactly like that. You can do it? But remember nobody can see us” you’re dying of fear but you must make Nomi believe that everything is a game if you don’t want to be discovered. “Got it, Mommy. I’m the best at hide and seek” she replies and starts to memorize the image of Kylo Ren.

Remember when you felt full of anxiety on the ship heading here? Well, that was nothing compared to what you feel now. Nomi has taken you by the hand through hallways and doors that look the same, she walks hummin a melody you don’t recognize and giving small jumps. Sometimes she stops and closes her eyes and then says “Over here!”. Nomi is very but very good at hide and seek or there’s a divine force taking care of you because until now you haven’t come across to anyone. You can swear that at any moment you’ll be discovered by someone after being so close to the goal.

* * *

 

Kylo walks with Hux to the control room, from time to time he has the feeling that someone is behind him and turns his head only to find no one. “Maker, you’re getting more paranoid than me” Hux tells him. Kylo’s prosecution mania is getting him also paranoid.

Kylo decides not to answer Hux’s comment and keep walking but something stops him in his tracks. One, two, three, the beating of his heart grows stronger, everything seems to stop around him and he knows that what he has been waiting since he woke up is finally here.

“It’s here…” Kylo mumbles.

“What’s here?” Hux asks confused, looking everywhere.

“Her” and not  even Kylo himself understands his answer.

* * *

 

“We’re almost there, mom! Come on!” Nomi screams and starts running down a long corridor. Goodbye to try to go unnoticed with the screams of your toddler. When you turn to the left you see him. After six long years. After a bitter parting that left you with thousands of questions. Both of you hold your gaze for an eternity, or at least you feel it that way. Nomi gives you a pull by the pants and brings you back to reality “Be-Kylo!” fuck, you almost call him Ben. “I need to talk to you!” you shout as clear as possible.

“Intruder alert! Intruder alert!” Hux screams angrily through his comm-link. Of course Kylo wasn’t going to be alone, of course there are people protecting Supreme Leader.

You take a few cautious steps back and you’re seriously considering if this was a good idea and if there will still be time to escape. But in less than five seconds Nomi and you are surrounded by stromtroopers pointing their weapons and one of them screams at you to kneel on the floor. Nomi hugs you not understanding what’s happening. You obey the stormtrooper because hell, you’re not ready to die yet and you kneel with your daughter crying against your neck. You only look at Kylo in the eye or where his eyes are supposed to be so that he can agree to at least listen to you.


	4. Chapter 4

“Let them, I’ll take care of them myself” says Kylo clenching his teeth.

“But… Supreme Leader…” Hux insists.

“I said I’ll take care of them!” Kylo can’t stand how Hux call him Supreme Leader but doesn’t believe in his ability to command.

“As you want. Supreme Leader” Hux spits out every word, knowing how stubborn Kylo can be and leaving to his original destination.

“Everyone. Out” Kylo barks the order and like trained dogs all stormtroopers leave the hall. He walks till he’s standing in front of you. “Get up” he says dryly. You’re shaking with your eyes closed, hugging Nomi, unable to do anything. “GET UP!” Kylo pulls you by your arm and pushes you almost making you fall flat in your ass. “Follow me” and he starts walking to his quarters.

 During your silence walk a part of you is telling you that you’re going straight to your execution but another part of you tells you that until now Kylo hasn’t really hurt you and perhaps he really wants to know what you’re doing here with a little girl in your arms. Nomi continues to whimper silently but at least she has already stopped crying. “Hey baby, everything’s fine, don’t worry”, you whisper in her ear, trying to put on a smile to make her believe you.

When you reach a double door Kylo punches a code that makes the doors open and enters without speaking to you. “Always a gentleman... Douchebag” you think and roll your eyes. You take a step inside, determined that you’ll not shrink away from Kylo anymore. Same as you he was there when you both made Nomi and it’s been six years. It’s time for him to be responsible. Obviously it’s easier to say it when you don’t have ten blasters or more pointed at your head.

His quarters are not as big as you thought, being Supreme Leader you imagined him full of luxuries and extravagant unnecessary things, you could even visualize a creepy dungeon sex. But there’s only  a living room with three couches and a small table in the middle. Behind the biggest couch there’s a door that you assume is his bedroom. To the right is the kitchen with a chromed table as well as four chairs. And the bathroom should be at the end of the corridor that is on the middle.

“Sit” Kylo orders you without looking at you. You walk towards the couch that’s in the middle of the other two and you sit with Nomi in your arms. “That child is Force sensitive” he points at Nomi as if he’s accusing her of having done something wrong.

“This child is named Nomi” you say angrily “and… and… can you take that thing off your head at least? I didn’t come from so far away to not look at your face”. Nomi must have tired herself out crying because she has fallen asleep, breathing quietly against your chest.

Kylo considers what you ask for a moment and with his hands he removes it, leaving it on the table. Now you can see his real face. He has dark circles under his eyes, he looks dead tired, he has dry skin and his hair doesn’t look as pretty as you remembered it. You get self-conscious because maybe he thought the same when he saw you.

“You look the same. Why did you come?” you feel like his voice is stirring everything inside of you. You would think that six years is more than enough time to overcome a person but apparently it’s not.

“Nomi is your daughter” you decide to tell him fast and clear. That’s why you came, isn’t it? The sooner he knows the better.

“Are you sure?” Kylo asks without any emotion on his face.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Do you think I go around fucking force sensitive guys in order to get pregnant?” you say offended and Kylo only shrugs like saying “I don’t know, maybe”.

Then he asks, “Why did you name her Nomi?”

You look at him blinking, processing his question for a brief moment. “I…the name means beautiful and…” you hesitate.

“But it wasn’t for that. Why did you name her Nomi?” Kylo apparently still knows when you’re lying.

“I just wanted her to have a nice name so when she grew up she wouldn’t blame me for not having a boyfriend because of having a weird or ugly name” you admit.

“Mmm” Kylo smirks and you could see a hint of a smile in him. He then proceeds to kneel in front of you and he observes Nomi’s sleeping face as if he’s examining something unique.

“She is your daughter, Kylo” you state with emphasis. He looks at you and replies “I know. I knew it the moment I saw her. Before you even told me”.

“So why the fuck did you pretend you weren’t sure?” you accuse him. This is one of the things about Ben that used to get you frustrated: his smugness.

Kylo decides to ignore you and keeps watching Nomi. “Interesting” he says to himself but you listen too. “She’s strong with the Force”.

“Yeah? So? You are too, I imagine” you roll your eyes at him.

“I got you pregnant right before I left, right? She must be almost six years old. She managed to find me in a ship full of people and surveillance, without having any previous training or having known me” Kylo pauses for a moment. “She’s very strong with the Force”.

The last 24 hours have passed so fast that you haven’t stopped to consider how powerful Nomi could become.

“You want me to train her. You’re scared someone would hurt her” Kylo tells you so sure of himself.

“Please, help us” you don’t want to sound like you’re begging but if it’s what it takes for Nomi to be protected you’d do it.

“She’s powerful. Pure raw strength” Kylo keeps saying. “I can train her. It’d be hard but we can accomplish great things together” his eyes shine with ambition.

Until this moment you hadn’t considered that Kylo could take Nomi away to stay only with him and the only idea fills you with panic. “No, wait. You can’t torn us apart. I… I’m her mom… she’s a baby” you try to get up as you keep saying “I’ll find someone else… I can’t…”

“(Y/N) wait” Kylo stops your rambling. “I’ve never said that I was going to take her away from you. The bond you and her share is something very special that I’d never dare to break. I remember when I started my training, they sent me away and it was difficult for me. I don’t want my child to go through the same thing” he reassures you.

“Ok. Yes, thank you” the tension in your body disappears and you sit down again.

“You two will stay here starting today. You and Nomi can use the master bedroom. I have a spare room I can use”.

“We didn’t bring any clothes or any of our things” you tell him.

Kylo gets up and looks at you strangely. “You don’t need them, I’ll arrange you have everything you need” he says.

“No Kylo, it’s our stuff, Nomi’s toys, all that” you ask hoping he understands.

“Okay, I’ll send someone for it. Your apartments is still the same?” luckily Kylo accepts.

“Yeah…” you wonder how he can still remember the address.

“Very good. Give it for granted that your belongings will be here at night at the latest” Kylo puts on his helmet “Now I have things to take care of. I’ll be back later” and he heads to the door.

“Why did you act like that out there?” you dare to ask. You were almost sure he was going to kill you and now he has offered you and Nomi to stay with him.

Kylo turns to look at you and hesitates for a moment, “You thought about it. I’m a douchebag. I got you pregnant and left you, isn’t it?” and he finally abandons the room.

“Yeah, you are” you say with sadness. “You really are”.


	5. Chapter 5

“I have a daughter” Kylo thinks as he’s failing to medidate in a training room. “A daughter strong with the Force” he stills can’t believe that a kid so beautiful would have some of his feauteres. Even if she was crying he recognized himself in her eyes. Except hers are still full of innocence and joy.

Kylo Ren has a daughter. The mere sentence gives him nauseas. Nobody has ever taught him how to be a father. His own dad? Yeah, right. Not a great example. Snoke? No way, as soon as he accepted to train Nomi he promised to himself that he’ll be a different master to her. A strict but fair master. He’s not going to allow Nomi to drown in the darkness in order to find her strength. He might be a lost case but his daughter can still find balance between the two sides. He’ll make sure of it.

Lately he has been wondering if the path he chose was the right one. After getting rid of Snoke’s influence and the excitement of being the leader passed an angst he can’t identify has crept into his life, it’s as if his body wasn’t his body, he can’t be comfortable anywhere, his whole life seems foreign to him and at night something heavy sits on his chest and doesn’t let him breathe.

The arrival of (Y/N) seems to have increased the angst more. She looks exactly the same as he remembers. Thank the stars he was wearing his helmet when she looked at him because he was sure he was blushing as a teenage boy. What would his soldiers or General Hux have said if they had noticed? The powerful and evil Kylo Ren nervous because of a girl. As the years passed her absence became easier to carry, not a day passed when he didn’t think of her but there were only fleeting thoughts, small memories he quickly discarded.

A realization hits him. (Y/N) is going to live with him. Not with Ben but with Kylo Ren. Live with him as she’ll sleep near him, she’ll be naked so close to him, she’ll shower where he showers… fuck, no! He can’t have those kind of thoughts he scolded himself. He offered to let her and Nomi to live with him just to protect and train Nomi. Nothing else.

“I’m doing this for my daughter” he repeats once more but can’t convince himself at all.

* * *

Nomi and you spent all the afternoon exploring the rooms and trying to accept the idea that this will be your new home indefinitely. You think there’s nothing lacking in this space: the main bedroom is a good size, with closets and cabinets and a flat big screen. The bathroom is full of light and the shower has a glass door, there’s no tub but it doesn’t suprise you, you can’t imagine Kylo taking a bath full of foam and scented candles. The spare bedroom he mentioned is a little smaller than the other one and is almost empty except for a shelf with old books. The idea of Kylo in a sleeping bag because there’s no bed makes you laugh. In the kitchen there’s some food to prepare simple things and you expect Kylo to give you more ingredients to be able to cook complete meals.

“Mommy, why are we staying here?” Nomi asks you sitting in the kitchen and eating a P&J sandwich. You already explained to her several times this will be her new home but she seems unable to understand it and you don’t blame her. In a single day she has gone through more changes than in her entire life.

“Does the man with the black mask scares you?” you worry your daughter is afraid of Kylo, if so, the training will be an imposible task. Not a single time you spoke to her about him, she has never ask about who her father is so you didn’t find it neccesary.

“Not really” Nomi says with her mouth full of peanut butter and jam “I’m more scared of those guys with the big guns”.

“Mhm, don’t worry. They’ll not hurt you” you assure her, your head resting on your hand.

“Does he scares you? The guy with the black mask?” Nomi inquires.

“I’m not sure, baby. I’m not sure” you’re really not.

* * *

Kylo makes a round through the main corridors of the Supremacy and in one of them is Hux. “What happened to the woman and the child?” General Hux asks Kylo as soon as he seems him.

“Nothing of your concern. The situation is already controlled” Kylo replies. “Who were they?” Hux insists. “I SAID THE SITUATION IS ALREADY CONTROLLED!” why does he always have to repeat himself when he’s talking to Hux, why does he always lose his chill in fron of him?

Hux stares at him, they both know you and Nomi are not just a simple pair of ordinary people but none of them decides to express it aloud. “I need a squad to go to Akiva” Kylo begins to explain to Hux about the mission that needs to be done. An anxious anticipation takes over him knowing that sooner or later he’ll have to return to his quarters and face a little girl and her mom.

* * *

As Kylo promised, your stuff was delivered at his (or your?) quarters, two stormtroopers knocked on your door with boxes and took care of putting everything inside. Nomi faced them bravely by looking at their helmets and watching them closely. Kylo still hasn’t come back and it’s getting late so you decide to put Nomi to bed.

Nomi and you come out of the bathroom after she brushed her teeth and in the hallway Kylo finds you. He’s not wearing his helmet and he looks visibly nervous.

“Uhmmm” he scratches the back of his neck and doesn’t say anything else.

Nomi seems to sense Kylo’s nerves so she decides to be the one to make the introductions. “Hi, I’m Nomi!” she greets him. “H-hi, Nomi, I’m Kylo” he’s almost sure you haven’t told his daughter who is her father so he decides to simply introduce himself with his first name.

“Nice to meet you, Kylo” she walks till she’s in front of him, it looks that Kylo’s height doesn’t intimidate her at all and she extends her tiny hand to shake Kylo’s.

“Oh, right” Kylo remembers his manners “Nice to meet you too” he takes her hand between his gigantic hand and shakes it lightly, careful to not squeeze too hard. The Force flows through them, back and forth, and Kylo is surprised, he has never felt anything like this, not even with that rebel girl who helped him emerge victorious against Snoke. Just as Kylo looks surprised Nomi looks calm, how can a little girl be more in tune with the Force than him, who has spent a lifetime training to be the best?

“We have a hole like that one back in our apartment” Nomi pulls Kylo out of his thoughts. She’s nodding at a hole in the wall near the bedroom. Kylo search for you with his eyes, aware he’s the autor of the hole Nomi is talking about.

“Really? And did you fix it?” he’s not sure if the question is for you or for Nomi.

“No” you intervene. “I framed it” and you grab Nomi’s hand, taking her to the room and shuting the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come say hi to me: tumblr.com/bad--bad--man


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel that from this chapter the plot weakens, which I apologize. This was the first series I ever wrote. I’m gonna keep posting and there’s smut and fluff coming so I hope you read it till the end.

After 3 days, enough time for everyone to establish, Nomi begins with her training. At first you went with her, you wanted to make sures she was comfortable and that Kylo wasn’t too hard on her. Your fears were in vain. You’ve seen how Kylo is patient with her, he never tires of explaining things and encouraging her to try them until she success. He even began to call her “honey” and “sweatheart” after a few days. You can see how their relationship develops and you’re sure you made the right decision to have looked for Kylo.

The trainings are almost everyday, sometimes in the morning and other times in the afternoons, it all depends on Kylo’s schedule. Meanwhile, you’ve dedicate to yourself now that you have more free time, basically doing anything you want like reading, cooking, watching your favorite series, etc. You also help Nomi with her homework, a droid takes care of her basic education. This is your daily routine and after a few weeks a rythm is settled.

Always at dinner time Kylo leaves the quarters and doesn’t return until very late at night. You wonder if maybe he had a girlfriend before you arrived and jealously stabs your heart. He doesn’t spend a lot of time in the shared quarters, you thought it’d be weird to share the bathroom and be in the same space 24/7 but it’s like he doesn’t even live here.

You thought about asking him to stay for dinner, you know he wants to stay, he almost pleads you with his eyes but there’s something that stops you and you just don’t feel capable to make the invitation. Everytime time he says goodbye to Nomi and leaves, you feel how your thoughts go with him.  

“I want to take Nomi with me to work” Kylo asks you one morning and you’re not sure. “Don’t worry, basically today I only have work desk. I just thought it would be good to combine the practice with a bit of theory, so she knows better what one day will be hers” he hurries to add.

“Yes, I suppose” you feel a little dizzy when you hear Kylo say that one day the First Order will be in the hands of Nomi. “Supreme Leader Nomi?” you think, yeah right, there are still many years left to worry about that. “She’s almost ready, I’ll give you her lunch so she can eat with you”.

Kylo only nods and puts on his helmet, waiting for Nomi to start his day.

* * *

 

While they’re walking by the ship, Kylo offers his hand to Nomi so she doesn’t get lost. It’s a large ship and even an adult can get confused and lose orientation.

“I’m not a baby, Kylo” Nomi scoffs. “I don’t need you to take my hand to walk”.

“As you wish” Kylo lowers his hand and starts walking.

In front of them a squad of stormtroopers passes and Nomi flinches when she sees their faceless helmets and weapons. Covertly she takes Kylo’s hand before continuing to walk. Kylo decides not to tell her anything.

The image of Kylo Ren, all in black, with his lightsaber at the waist and his helmet on, walking hand in hand with a little girl is something that First Order employees wouldn’t even have imagined in their craziest dreams. But expect the unexpected, so here is Kylo taken by the hand with Nomi walking around the Supremacy.

“What’s that thing?” Hux says with disgust when he sees Nomi approaching with Kylo.

“What did you just say?” Kylo can’t believe Hux’s impudence. “This thing is a human being named Nomi, and just so you know she’s higher than you in the chain of command” Kylo’s words are like a slap in Hux’s face and the grimace of disgust on his face becomes in one of anger.

“Come Nomi, I’ll teach you more useful things” the two leave the room leaving Hux ashamed.

* * *

 

“This is my office” Kylo opens a door and lets Nomi pass first.

“Wow!” Nomi looks amazed at the room. “What do you do here?” she questions Kylo.

“Many things, some where you can help me. Of course, only if you want” Kylo wants his daughter to be part of his life.

“Yes!” Nomi shouts excitedly.

To be honest it’s not that Nomi is able to help Kylo much, but seeing her sitting drawing or reading on his big desk brings a peace to him that allows him to concentrate and feel content with himself.

“What are you drawing, Nomi?” Kylo decides to take a break from paperwork.

“My mom, me and you. Look, this is you with your helmet” Nomi points out some black doodles and Kylo finds it funny that far from being scared of his mask Nomi likes it. “And here are the twins” she adds.

“The twins?” what is she talking about, Kylo wonders.

“Yes, they’re two boys but they’re not here yet. I know that soon they’ll come because I have dreamed of them” Nomi turns aside her head admiring her drawing. “I hope to be a good big sister. Hey Kylo, maybe I can train them like you train me” Nomi exclaims.

“Of course. You’ll be a great teacher” Kylo decides to follow her game, assuming that just as some children have imaginary friends, Nomi has imaginary brothers.

* * *

 

Kylo and Nomi return shortly before dinner, and Nomi can’t wait to tell you all the things she saw today.

“And then Mitaka showed me how to make a flower with a piece of paper” Nomi keeps telling you while Kylo thinks that he would never have guessed that one of the lietunants would be so good with children.

It’s the moment when Kylo usually retires but he’s still watching the two people who have become his family. He wonders what it will feel like to sit down with you to enjoy a dinner while you talk about trivial things, but once again you don’t invite him to stay and he is too stubborn to ask so he chooses to go train for a while before going to sleep, maybe the physical exercise will left him exhausted and he’ll sleep instead of spending the night thinking about you.


	7. Chapter 7

Nomi is sitting cross-legged in a meditation position facing Kylo, her eyes are open and an annoyed expression darkens her face. You had mentioned to Kylo that Nomi had woken up in a bad mood and you weren’t sure it was a good idea for her to train but Kylo replied discipline and perseverance are important habits that should be inculcated.

Kylo is in the same position as Nomi with his eyes closed, he feels her annoyance and bad mood and wonders if maybe he should have listened to you and left the training for another day. He opens his eyes and sees Nomi staring at him. Her look is penetrating and it seems she’s able to see inside of him. Is this how others would feel if he didn’t wear a helmet and look them in the eyes?

“You’re my father” Nomi suddenly says.

Kylo doesn’t make any movement but inside his heart has just taken a leap. “Well…em, yes” he’s not able to articulate a complete sentence. You had mentioned him before you never told her about him, much less that he was her dad, so he asks intrigued “How did you know?”

“I’ve always known” Nomi is serious. “That’s why I never asked mom about you, I always knew someday we’d meet so I saw no point in asking” Kylo looks at her daughter and although he sees a girl he’s listening to someone older and wise.

“I see… I… I just want you to know I’m very proud of having you and my love for you is bigger than the universe” he confesses to her. Immediately he feels how her annoyance fades to give way to joy and then be replaced by sadness.

“You hurt mommy” she’s now melancholic. “I don’t know what you did to her, but it must have been before I was born because before we came here she thought of you feeling sad. I didn’t know it was you she was thinking about but now I know for sure”.

Kylo had never stopped to think what else you could feel beyond anger, he knew how much you loved him and the lie he told you must have hurt you very deeply.

“I did hurt your mom a time ago. It wasn’t my intention but the result was the same” Kylo can’t believe he’s getting sincere with a six-year-old girl.

“Well, my mom told me that when you hurt a person you should ask for forgiveness to make them feel better” Nomi sends him the hint of what he should do.

But Kylo just stares at her, wondering if he really has the courage to apologize for his betrayal.

“You should apologize to Mommy” Nomi’s suggestion sounds more like an order and she stands up ending the conversation.

* * *

You’re making dinner when Nomi and Kylo arrive, you know it because of the sound of the door opening but you’re surprised to not Nomi’s usual cheerful shouts. The two of them have a serious expression, one standing next to the other, looking at your direction. You wonder if something bad or an accident has happened but they’re apparently fine so you choose to wait for them to tell you what’s going on.

“Kylo wants to tell you something,” Nomy says fast. You look at Kylo surprised, you have rarely seen Nomi behave in such a serious way.

“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry” Kylo starts to say unsure. “No, I want to tell you I’m sorry” he corrects himself. Nomi gives him a little punch on the leg, encouraging me to continue. “It wasn’t my intention but I still hurt you. You trusted me and I lied to you. You didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry” it was difficult but Kylo admits it was also good to be able to speak, even a little, about what happened between you in the past.

“I… Thank you. I appreciate it” you can’t believe what you’re hearing. Big bad Kylo Ren apologizing? With you? A shooting star is going to pass through your orbit or something because this only happens once in a lifetime.

“Now hug” Nomi interrupts. “When two people make peace they should hug each other. You know, to seal the deal” she tells you waiting for you to pay attention to her.

Speaking of awkward moments, this has to be in the top five. Kylo and you approach each other with caution and join your bodies in a distant and cold embrace, but after a few seconds, you’re hugging each other tightly, his arms holding you by the waist and your head against his chest. You breathe his essence and it’s the same one that made you go mad when you were together.

“Yaaay!” Nomi exclaims and jumps happily, joining in the hug. A little universe has been created around the three of you. Nothing enters, nothing leaves. A warm feeling spreading through your bodies and hearts. When the hug finally ends you remain silent not being sure what’s next.

“Do you want to eat dinner with us?” you say without thinking. Your mouth acted faster than your brain and the question is on the air.

“Yeah… I’d love to” Kylo smiles and cannot believe how with a simple and sincere “I’m sorry” so many things can be achieved. “Good” you nod. “I’m making chicken with pasta and spinach. You and Nomi can help me set the table”.

“I prefer a burger with fries but whatever” Nomi complains carefully so you don’t listen, she goes to the drawer where the plates and cutlery are. Kylo hears her and lets out a laugh, thinking that a burger sounds nice but chicken with pasta is also a great idea.

The dinner is already finished and everything went well. Nomi and Kylo spent their time talking about Force things and although you haven’t understood everything quite well, you’re happy that Nomi is motivated with her training. She picks up her plate and puts it in the sink, ready to go and get ready for bed. When she’s walking down the hall to the bathroom to brush her teeth she turns around and aks Kylo “Daddy, would you read me a bedtime story?” Kylo and you stand still for a second, never until now Nomi had called Kylo “daddy” and now she just said it as if her whole life she had called him like that.

Kylo looks at you searching for your approval with his eyes, nodding slightly with your head he says to Nomi “Sure, honey. Let’s go” and walk towards the little girl so she can take him by the hand and guide him in this new role in his life.

* * *

You’re just finishing cleaning up the kitchen when Kylo emerges from the bedroom and says “She’s already sleeping. I tucked her in and everything” he looks so proud and full of himself, his daughter asked him to be the one to put her to bed.

“Oh, good. Maybe tomorrow she won’t be too cranky” you try to joke to enlight the mood. It feels weird but not necessarily bad, Nomi calling Kylo “daddy” was strange but you’re glad it happened because he’s her dad and she deserves to call him like that.

“You know, I’m not tired yet” Kylo begins to elaborate. “Do you want to drink something with me?” it has been an amazing day so Kylo decides to stretch out his luck a little more.

“Sure” you nod and smile at him “But you’re serving me, I’m tired of being the one serving the drinks” you sit on the biggest couch.

Kylo goes to the fridge and takes out two drinks. He’s nervous but he doesn’t know if this would ever happen again so he better takes out the most of it.

You feel him sitting next to you as he puts two light beers. You snort and say “A light beer?”.

“A simple drink for a simple girl” he shrugs as he repeats the phrase you told him when you met.

“You know, I never understood. How can Ben be so different from Kylo when it’s the same person?” you take a big gulp of your beer as if it was liquid bravery.

“The whole point of escaping was exactly that: being someone completely different. Ben is exactly the opposite of what Kylo is” he imitates you and drinks from his beer. Then he puts it down on the table and continues “I never told you this but I went to different planets before meeting you, I didn’t like visiting the same place twice until I arrived at Akiva. Guess its charm kept me going back” he chuckles.

“Was it real?” you blurt out encouraged by the alcohol in your system. “Was it real what we had?” you’re not sure if you want to hear the answer, but hey, too late now, don’t ask what you don’t want to know.

“Of course it was real” he answers almost offended. “Just because I lied about my persona doesn’t mean what we lived was fake. I know it sounds terrible when you say it out loud but I can assure you it was real” Kylo is staring at the little drops of waters slipping down his bottle.

“Why did you never come back?” apparently it’s truth time and you’re gonna ask everything you always wanted to know. “I know I was angry but if you had come back maybe we could have fixed it”.

“I thought you were terribly disgusted by the idea of having any form of intimacy with me. I’m used to people be afraid of me” Kylo states with resignation.

“It wasn’t that” you look at him surprised. “I’m not gonna lie, I was really hurt by the fact that you weren’t Ben but I wasn’t hurt because you were Kylo. I know you couldn’t tell me your real name right away when we met but you waited a whole year, you made feel unworthy of your trust” you turn your body towards him so you can look at him better.

“Oh” Kylo is surprised. “So if I had come back maybe now we would be together?” once again he allowed his impulses to take the best of him.

“Probably” you simply say.

“Wow, we were really stupid”.

You laugh letting the tension loss. “We were. We were thinking two completely different things and we didn’t know because we didn’t have a proper conversation about it”.

A comfortable silence settles between the two of you. You sigh and say “I liked Ben but I think I’m starting to like Kylo more”.

Kylo looks at you in shock and you’re glad you were able to provoke that reaction on him.

“I’m going to bed” you stand up, directing your steps to your bedroom.

“Thank you,” Kylo says before you leave.

“For what?”

“For giving me Nomi. And I’m not talking only about the whole birth thing, I mean the part where you left your life in Akiva just so she can be near her dad”.

Kylo says “I’m sorry” and “thank you” in a single day? You really have to look out the window in search of that shooting star.

“It was the right thing to do,” you say goodbye to him.  


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW content (dry humping, daddy kink goes wrong, dirty talk, oral sex, breeding kink, squirting)

_And I believe him_

_I believe him when he says “I love you”_

_I believe that his love will be eternal_

_and he’s the kindest man_

_and if he gives me another kiss_

_who cares if he lies to me?_

_I believe him!_

_With my eyes closed I’ll go after him_

_with my eyes closed I’ll always love him_

_with my eyes closed I trust him_

_with my eyes closed I want to believe him._

Days blend into months, your daily routine has remained almost the same except your little family is more united and share more things now. Tonight Nomi was in the mood for watching a holomovie before sleeping. She’s already settled on bed while you see the options of movies you have.

 “You should stay, dad,” Nomi says to Kylo. So far the three of you do a lot of things together but the bedroom is forbidden territory. Kylo only enters when he puts Nomi to bed.

“Yeah, dad, you should stay” you smack him playfully as you pass next to him to get to the bed. What’s the matter if he stays a while to watch the movie with you? You already share almost everything. Almost.

You and Nomi cuddle together, ready to set play and star the movie when Kylo realizes if he gets in bed you would be in the middle, between Nomi and him.

Reluctantly Kylo agrees. What can go wrong? He’s just going to be lying on a bed. Next to you. Next to the only woman he has fallen in love with. The woman who he has remembered for the last six years. The woman he’s been thinking about for the last months when he masturbates. So yeah, what can go wrong?

After a while, Nomi falls asleep and then you follow her, lulled by the sound of the movie. Kylo looks at both of you and his feelings stir. He doesn’t want to leave and go to his room, he wants to be here with you and his daughter. It’s normal for a dad to feel that, right? Wanting to be with his family.

When he’s getting up you grab him by the wrist and with sleepy eyes, you say “Stay. Don’t go”. Kylo doubts if you’re serious or just your sleepy mind speaking for you. But your half-opened eyes, your tousled hair and your pajamas are too tempting to reject you, so he goes back to bed and you hug him.

Kylo feels that his body turned to stone and he’s only able to stay still and look at the ceiling. Meanwhile, you lean more and more until you are completely lying on top of him, straddling him with your legs. “Do you remember when we slept like this?” you break the silence. “Yeah…” Kylo doesn’t know what to say. Are you flirting with him? If he tries something else will you be offended and call him pervert?

“Mmmmmh” you sigh and start to move your hips slowly.  _“Is she dry humping me?! Is she?!”_ he feels that all of his body heat has gone straight to his dick. “Kylo…” you purr near his ear. Then you begin to spread light kisses all over his neck until you reach his ear again and bite his lobe. “Fuck…” he takes you by the hips and he bucks his own to create more friction.

 _“Ok, there’s no doubt she’s dry humping me. Do not fuck this up, you got it”_  Kylo repeats as a mantra in his mind. You start moaning louder and grind harder against his growing bulge. When you turn your head to your right you almost jump off of the bed. “Fuck, Nomi is here!” you try not to shout. “W-what?” Kylo is already gone, he loves his daughter, he does but damn, he’s not going to let her cockblock him. So he just grabs you harder and gets up as you put your legs around his waist.

He was thinking to take you to his room but his hands in your ass only allow him to reach the big couch in the living room. He lets you fall carefully into it and without time for you to react he’s on top of you kissing you, his tongue exploring your mouth.

He tries to lift your tank top but you stop him with your hand. “What’s wrong?” he stops kissing you and looks at you warily.

“Nothing, it’s just that since I had Nomi my body changed. I’m not the same you remember and I’m not sure you’ll like it” you’ve never been with anyone since Nomi was born, especially because being a single mom absorbed all your time.

“I’ve never seen you as beautiful as tonight, (Y/N). Let me show you” Kylo says with determination. He gets rid of your pajamas in three seconds and takes a moment to admire your naked body.

“Look at you. You’re more beautiful than before” he’s caressing your nipples with his thumbs, making circles around them in order to make them hard.

“I want to see you…It’s been so long” you plead him trying to put your best pouty face. He chuckles and proceeds to get rid off of his shirt first, your hands go immediately to his torso and chest, it’s dark but you memorized all of his scars a long time ago and touching them again feels like returning home after a tiring long trip. Then he takes off his gray pajama pants along with his boxers, his cock jumps against his belly and you can see it’s already hard and swollen. You sigh at it, imagining how it’ll open its way through you.

Kylo returns his attention to your nipples, licking and tracing the aureola and then sucking and lightly biting them. You buck your hips trying to create friction against your clit, you just want to feel Kylo’s cock against you again. He sees your suffering and decides to end it by starting to rub your nub that’s it’s already swollen and wet from your cum. “That’s it, baby. Rub yourself against my fingers” Kylo encourages you as he continues to masturbate you and touching your tits with his other hand. You’re truly a holy vision, naked and wet for him Kylo feels how the vein that runs under his cock throbs.

“Fuck me, please” you lost your shame some time ago. “I want to feel you inside me,” you say while you continue grinding against his hand.

Kylo looks at you and then he gets off the couch kneeling ready to devour you whole. “Fuck, Kylo!” you moan as you feel his damp tongue in your center. “Baby” you cry and grab his hair to rub against his face. “Aaaah” you arch your back and your pussy starts to spam with nothing inside of you. “I need… I need…” you try to form the sentence and fortunately Kylo understands you because one of his fingers is already inside you. He lightly bites your clit and a wave of pleasure runs through your core. “I’m gonna come, shit” Kylo laughs in the middle of your legs, remembering how foul-mouthed you were when you fucked.

He gets up and kneels on the couch, putting your legs around his waist. His eyes are dark and big. He grabs his penis and starts to run it against your pussy, wetting it with your cum. You can only stay there lying down, waiting for him to decide to fuck you.

And when he finally does it, it feels like you start flying to the sky, his cock opening you, stretching you. It seems it’ll never end and you don’t want it to end, you want to feel he gets to the bottom of you and stay there forever, protected by your wet heat.

“Mmmh” Kylo growls and he drops himself on top of you to start moving. “You’re so warm, so wet,” he tells you in your ear and you feel a burning scratch on your clit that you need to take rid of.

“Daddy” you whisper in his ear, remembering one of his old kinks. Suddenly Kylo’s thrusts stop and look you in the face. “N-no, don’t say that. Nomi calls me like that and now it’s weird” he suddenly stops being that beast in heat fucking you to turn into a nervous boy.

“Oh ok. Sorry” you raise your hips towards him, hoping what you said hasn’t ruined the mood. And apparently not, because you see Kylo’s face flooded with pleasure and you smile moving your hips more and squeezing your cunt.

“Turn around, on your knees, you filthy whore,” Kylo says, now he’s the one remembering your old kinks and steps back to give you space to adjust. When you’re kneeling just like he ordered, you feel a spank and you whimper, loving how rough he still is.

He takes your hips and stops a moment to look at your dripping pussy. He spanks you again and it clenches. Kylo suddenly attacks you and the two of you are united again.

You throw your hips back trying to catch his cock. “Come on, baby. Fuck yourself on this cock” Kylo is mesmerized by your movements and he grips you tighter.

“I want you to go as deep in my heart as you do in the middle of my legs,” you tell him and a switch inside Kylo turns on because one of his arms grabs you by the waist and lifts you up to his chest.

“Suck” Kylo sticks a finger in your mouth and obediently you start to suck and moan. He pulls out his finger with a loud “pop” and starts rubbing your clit in fast circles while he keeps fucking you deeply.

Near you ear, he rasps, “Do you feel how I’m grabbing you? We’re bouncing to the rhythm of the universe, a ship with no breaks that loses itself in a black hole”. You grab him by the nape of the neck and nod because you don’t think you can form any coherent sentence.

“Can I come inside of you?” Kylo asks.

“N-n-no, I’m not on the p-pill” you grind yourself more against him because even though you said no, now that he had asked you want to feel his hot cum flooding you.

“You don’t want another baby of me? Uh?” Kylo thrusts get rougher and he’s pulling you by the hair. “You don’t want me to breed you like the bitch you are?”

You open your mouth but no sound comes out, you look for his mouth with your mouth and his tongue finds you halfway. “Mmmmm” you groan louder and your legs start to shake. “Let go, baby. I got you” Kylo feels how your orgasm is approaching. You let yourself fall, ready for him to catch you. Your pussy starts spamming around his cock, a crystalline liquid coming out of you, you’re squirting, your back arched in a weird angle, you’re lost in your pleasure, colored waves start in your pussy and expand towards your whole body. You’re floating so high you never want to go back down.

“Shit, you squirted all over my cock, shit” and he nibbles your neck. One more “shit” gets out of his mouth and he comes in the curve of you back. You’re thankful that his arm is grabbing you because your body doesn’t respond you. It feels like made of jelly, your mind is blank and you only hear Kylo saying “Don’t move. I’ll be right back”.

After what it feels two hours or maybe just two minutes Kylo is cleaning you with a wet towel, being careful so you don’t feel overstimulated. He remembers how you hated that feeling. Then he takes you in his arms and puts you on top of him.

He throws a blanket over your bodies and starts kissing you, trying to express everything he can’t  with words, with his mouth and tongue. After 10 minutes of a good post sex make out session you place your head on his chest.

“I missed you,” he says in the dark.

* * *

_Next morning_

You open your eyes slowly and your mind searches for the reason why you woke up. Your back hurts, you’re a little cold and the smell of cooking food invades your nose. Memories of yesterday’s night come to your mind and you cover yourself more with the blanket but you discover you have your pajamas on again.

“Good morning, mommy” Nomi greets you from the kitchen when she sees you’re awake. She’s on a chair choosing blueberries to put on her pancakes.

“Good morning, mommy” Kylo imitates Nomi and smirks at you. He’s wearing the apron you use when you cook and has a cooking shovel in his hand to turn the pancakes on the pan.

“Umm, good morning” your voice is a little scratchy because you’re still a little sleepy.

“We’re making you breakfast” Nomi explains to you, “Dad said you were tired so we didn’t wake you up”, at her side Kylo laughs remembering the reason why you’re so “tired”.  _Mommy’s tired because she had my dick buried in her all night_  but he only thinks it because it’s not something really appropriate to say in front of a child and he’s not ready to pay for therapy for his kid.

You sit on the couch and look at the image on your left: Kylo in his pajama pants and a beige burnt apron. Nomi in her pink and white pajamas all disheveled and laughing at something, the sweet smell of honey and fruits, the soft sound of the pan where the pancakes are cooking. _“This is home”_ you realize. Your heart fills with love for the two people you have in front of you and never before you had craved a plate of pancakes with bacon so much.

“Hurry up, mom! It’s gonna get cold” Nomi tells you and you can only obey by walking to the table.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I’ll post final chapter and the epilogue tomorrow, which I hope someone read it because it’s super fluffy and cute and I spent a lot of time on it.

One month had passed since that night where Kylo and you found each other in the dark. Who would have thought that “movies & chill” will end like this? A big part of your previous life stayed the same: The only difference is now Nomi sleeps in the spare room and Kylo and you share the main one. In the beginning, you were a little worried about what Nomi could think about you and Kylo being together so you asked Kylo to be discreet for a while. This decision turned into quickies in supply rooms, in the kitchen, in the shower an the places go on and on. The day you decided to tell Nomi about your relationship you did it after dinner. She was sitting in her chair, looking curiously at you, wondering what you had to talk about.

“So Nomi, you know how Kylo is your dad, right?” you ask her nervous.

“Yeah,” she says it as the most obvious thing. She has been calling him dad or daddy all this time.

“Well,” you scratch your head trying to find the right words. “Your dad and I have spent time together and we realized that we’re in love. This doesn’t mean we love you less or anything” you try to explain it as simply as possible.

“That’s all?” your daughter asks bored. “I thought you were going to tell me you were going to give me a droid” she’s disappointed. 

Kylo and you look at each other and he adds “You know what that means, Nomi? Your mom and I are now together. We’re going to share many things from now on”.

“You already do” she shrugs. “I don’t think there’s much difference. Besides, I always felt the love between you”. y

Your daughter never ceases to amaze you. Sometimes she doesn’t act like her age of how fast she understands things but Kylo assured you it was a Force effect. 

Changing her from the master bedroom to the other room was another story. She complained nonstop that space was smaller and that her mom had always slept with her. Kylo had to bribe her with some gifts, including a BB9 unit for herself. But at the end she accepted.

* * *

“Nomi, I need you to help me with something” Kylo has taken Nomi to his work one more time and now they’re sitting in his office, they just ate the lunch you prepared for both: quinoa with beef and cherry tomatoes and a greek yogurt dressing.

“Yeah?” she asks distractedly as she draws something using a purple crayon. She’s sticking her tongue out and she’s sitting on her knees on the chair so she can reach the sheet of paper on the desk.

“I want to give something to mom. Something very special but it must be a secret, she can not find out” Kylo has been thinking about this for a long time and every day that passes he’s more sure about doing it.

“Why not?” Nomi’s curiosity sparks up and she leaves her work of art incomplete.

“I want it to be a surprise” Kylo replies and explains Nomi the plan. 

* * *

“Mom! Dad and I are going to Naboo!” Nomi enters screaming and runs to hug you.

“Oh, am I not invited?” every day she gets bigger and heavier but still you lift her in your arms.

“No …” she says embarrassed for you.

“Why not? I also want to go to Naboo ” you pretend to be sad and pout. 

“Because this is a trip between Nomi and me. Dad and daughter quality time. Sorry but you’re not welcomed” Kylo greets you with a kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah mom, don’t be cloying” Nomi switches to her dad’s arms.

“You guys are so rude. Have fun at Naboo, I hope it rains” you fake your feelings are hurt as you continue to prepare dinner.

* * *

“What do you think, honey?” Kylo asks Nomi. They have wandered three-quarters of Naboo looking for kyber crystals. They’re not easy to find but when you’re the Supreme Leader of the galaxy you count with unlimited resources. “Mm I don’t know, I think not” Nomi replies looking at the jewel number 73 that they’ve seen today. Both are tired but determined to find what they’ve been looking for from far away. “Wait! I feel something” once again Nomi lets the Force guide her and looks towards a cupboard where is a lonely kyber crystal. “Dad, it’s this one! This is mom’s stone!” she says to him confidently. “You’re so right my beautiful and smart daughter” Kylo can’t help but agree with his daughter. He can already see in his mind how the stone will look on the ring he plans to make. “Let’s take this to the jewelry store so they can finish our idea." 


	10. Chapter 10

_Today I know that I always knew, from a past so distant that it might don’t even exist, that I was loving and waiting for you before having seen you for the first time. My love for you has throbbed hidden beneath all my joys and sorrows, so old that I don’t even know which of my lives it belongs to. And tomorrow, when I’m no longer at your side, and you also feel ending, like a leafless architecture of a flower, I’ll return to be together in that final moment, just like yesterday, today and always._

“Where’s Nomi?” you question Kylo immediately, seeing him alone in the landing area. You received a message from him on your holopad where he asked you to see him on this site. You assumed that the three of you would take a trip together.

“She’s with a nanny droid” Kylo answers you. “You know I don’t like to leave her with it” you complain. “She’s fine” he assures you. “You were supposed to be with her, if you were busy, you could have told me, you didn’t have to leave her alone, at least you should have left her with Mitaka” you start to argue.

“Shut up! Just… shut up!” Kylo explodes, he feels how his nerves are making him lose control. “I just need you to get on the ship and shut up for 15 minutes” he uses the same tone he uses with his subordinates, expecting you to obey. “Please” he remembers to add, he doesn’t want you to get mad at him. It’ll ruin everything.

“Damn, okay, such a mood” you mumble and get on his ship. You suppose that Nomi being 15 minutes with a droid couldn’t be so bad.

“Don’t forget to buckle your belt” Kylo says in a mocking way. “Ha-ha, it was only one time I forgot” you reply annoyed, remembering that time your body crossed half the ship and you fell down in your ass while Kylo and Nomi couldn’t stop laughing. Kylo turns on the control panel and pushes several buttons as he prepares to start the flight. As always, the take-off is smooth and so is the journey. Ten minutes passed in silence, you look through the window, wondering what is this about.

“Ok, here is fine. Yeah, here is good” Kylo speaks to himself and puts the ship on autopilot. He gets up from his seat and asks you to stand in the center of the ship.

“Uhh, stay here, yes here” he takes you by the shoulders and puts you in such a way that you can see the space through the main window. It’s full of stars of different shapes and sizes, swirls of light of different colors: blue, white, purple stain the black space.

“Ok…I’m not good at this but Nomi said it’d be nice to do it here” Kylo swallows and feels his hands are cold sweating.

“Do what? What are you talking about?” you find funny to see Kylo like this, whatever the reason is causing it.

“(Y/N)” you had never heard Kylo say your name so intense and your smile fades. “You came into my life like a tornado stirring and destroying everything. Everything you’ve made me feel has caused a chaos inside of me, making me questioning everything, making face things I had been running away from. I want you to keep being that chaos for all I have left of life” he kneels and takes out of his pocket a ring, the most special and unique one you’ve seen: a golden thin hoop with an intense red kyber crystal on top of it. “No matter what the end of this life is, we’ll walk together, if we fall down it won’t hurt. We’ll invent seas to cross, we’ll transform planets, systems, the entire universe and if we get lost nothing will happen. I understand it now, to love is to liberate. You’re warmblood and I feel alive. (Y/N)(L/N), will you marry me?” Kylo’s speech came from something deeper than his heart, deeper than his whole being, it came from somewhere so antique and distant that not even him will ever know the exact place. Because a love like this never begins or ends, it exists in the cosmos forever, in each life trying to find each other.

There may be a precious ring in front of you but you’re only able to look into the eyes of the man kneeling. The same eyes that bewitched you on a lonely night at a bar called Amici’s. And just like seven years ago in the bathroom of a small apartment with a positive pregnancy test, you understand everything you’ve lived was necessary to be in this place, standing in front of a man who has just turned his heart out for you to accept marry him.

“Yes, yes! One thousand times yes!” you answer with tears in your eyes and nodding your head frantically. Kylo places the ring on your finger with care, looking how it fits perfectly. He and Nomi spend a whole day searching for the right kyber crystal and it was worth it. He stands up and takes you in his arms, hugging you, spinning you around, kissing you. His smile is so wide he feels his cheeks hurting.

“Oh shit, we have to go with Nomi” Kylo suddenly remembers and settles you back down on the floor. “I promised her we would come back as soon as you said yes”.

“And how did you know I was going to say yes?” you ask him playfully. “Oh baby, it’s a Force thing, you wouldn’t understand it” he winks at you and takes your hand, holding it tight, ready to take the next step in your life. Just as Kylo said you don’t know how this life will go but you’re sure he’ll be your eternity and you’ll be at his side.

 **A/N:**  I used part of a song to write Kylo’s proposal. I had my itunes library on random when the song appeared while I was writing it and it felt right. 


	11. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this series and its family fluff. This is the first series I ever did and even though it’s not perfect, I’m very proud of it.

Kylo opens his eyes and realizes he was sleeping without dreaming. Although he slept only three hours he feels rested and at peace with himself. He looks to his left and sees you asleep, he smiles and goes to see Nomi in her room to make sure she also sleeps.

After checking everything’s fine he goes to one closet and his hand searches in the background until he comes across with a large box. He grabs it and goes with it to the living room. After staring at it for a while he decides to open it and take out its content: Darth Vader’s mask.

“Grandfather” he greets him respectfully. “It’s been a while since I last talked to you. There are some things I want to tell you but I’m not sure I can express them well” he tries to put his ideas in order. “I met a girl. An amazing girl. But I lied to her and I lost her. It was my fault, but somehow the Force brought her back to me. And not only that, she brought her daughter with her. Our daughter Nomi. I wish you could meet her. I think she’s more powerful and stronger than me already, every day she surprises me with something new. I just hope I can be a good father to her as well as a good teacher. Today she was drawing our family while singing “My daddy is strong, my daddy is handsome” Kylo laughs at the memory “when I asked her why she was singing that she answered me she had heard her mom saying it” Kylo stops to take a deep breath before continuing “Never in my life did I think I’d be here tonight, with Nomi sleeping peacefully in her room and my wife sleeping in the bed we shared, carrying my twins in her belly. I think I finally understood my destiny and place in this life. I think I finished what you started, Grandpa. For many years I thought it was to rule the entire galaxy, that entires planets would tremble just by hearing my name. How wrong I was. Now I understand it was about having the second chance you always wanted but never got. The opportunity to have my own family and do things right. Eight years ago a girl named (Y/N) changed my life forever and I’ll never be able to pay her back, so I’ll only love her until my body becomes dust and mixes with the stars.

“Babe?” you woke up when you didn’t feel Kylo sleep next to you. Since you’re pregnant your sleep became lighter because the twins take up a lot of space inside your body. “Who are you talking to?” you’re leaning against the door frame.

“With an old friend, love” Kylo smiles at you. “But I already finished” and really everything already ended. Pain, loneliness, fear, regret, resentment. You came and took the place of all those feelings.

“Well, then come back to bed, dummy. I miss you” you pout and extend your arms towards him.

Kylo only chuckles and puts the helmet inside the box again. “It’s time to let you go” he whispers very close to it. For now, it’s time to go back to bed with you and sleep in each other’s arms until Nomi comes in and jumps up to the bed waking you up and demanding pancakes for breakfast. The box can be stored tomorrow, there will be time for that. For now, the only thing that matters is to return to the safety of your arms. His home.

_Very far from there, on an unknown location and planet_

“General, a package for you arrived” General Leia’s mind was focused on an holomap that illuminates the room. A guy in a Resistance uniform gives her a medium size yellow envelope.

“Whose is it?” Leia asks

“We don’t know. It arrived this morning in a small droid. Only your name was written, no sender. We checked it before bringing it to you, it doesn’t contain any explosives or dangerous substances. After examining it we came to the conclusion that it is opened by fingerprint. We assume that yours” he explains to her.

“Very well. Leave it here. Thank you” Leia says goodbye to the guy and he nods his head and leaves.

General Leia looks at the envelope and at her name written in it, the letters are neat and clear, it seems it was written by hand. “How strange,” she thinks. Practically no one writes by hand anymore.

On the back of the envelope, there’s a small circular slot where the fingerprint goes. “Let’s see,” she thinks at the same time she puts her right thumb in the slot.

The envelope opens and her hand takes out a photograph. Her eyes can’t believe what they’re seeing, some years ago she saw him in that battle where the Resistance almost lost everything. Oddly now he looks younger than that occasion but Leia assumes the reason for that should be the people who are with him in the picture.

“Ben…” Leia says and passes her forefinger on his face. It was also in that battle when his brother Luke told her Ben was already lost and there was nothing to do for him. However, the photograph is telling her something different.

Ben is sitting on a stool looking directly at the camera, smiling without showing his teeth. He’s wearing a black hoodie and his eyes are bright. A girl with deep brown eyes is sitting on one of his legs, she’s wearing a red tutu and white shirt and sneakers. Her hair is dark and untamed. It looks like she saw something funny because she’s laughing. Ben’s arm is grabbing her while his other arm wraps the waist of a pregnant woman. In return, she’s hugging him by the shoulders. She’s wearing a short cherry color dress and black knee-length boots and just like him she’s smiling at the camera.

Next to the girl is written, with the same black marker, the name “Nomi” and the belly of the woman is circled and says “the twins”. In a corner of the photo, it reads “I hope one day you can meet your grandkids, Mrs. Organa” –  (Y/N)

Leia smiles to herself and exclaims, “No one’s ever really gone” remembering her brother’s words.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me: tumblr.com/bad--bad--man


End file.
